close, but so far

last day of work was brutal... five hours to do an hour's worth of work. people kept coming up, sue baked a cake ("you're doing what now?") and so on. that was wednesday...

thursday was a day wasted. i wanted to get things done, but my apartment had some uninvited guests that required gas and the subsequent away-time so as not to be poisoned. it was also a good day, but very little got done as far as moving is concerned. i got up and prepped for senor muerte. he showed up early and i continued my prepping. by the time he was done, my throat had had it (i really wanted to be gone before the spraying of the ick...). so i went and grabbed a bite to eat and read an alt-weekly. then i went to the hippie-dippy shop, browsed for awhile, asked about a reading, was denied a reading because the reader didn't bring her cards (fair enough--just a foolish fun expense that i don't need now) so i kept looking around. found two books that struck my fancy and bought them. went to the coffee shop to start reading them. 50 pages into the first one and i was less than impressed. i was looking for new age, and it kept harping on the main character's faith in god (with a capital "g"). does he end up losing his faith? i don't know, i'll read more on the plane, but it better get off the god and into the personal/spiritual or it'll lose my attention... sorry, not my cup of tea at this point in my life; all things considered, it could become my cup of tea, but for now...

so i start reading my other book, and this one delivered. "chakras for beginners". since all i knew was that i had heard the word i didn't want to get the "chakras for chakras masters" or whathaveyou, so i went for the near-"for dummies" version, and what i've read so far rings true. it seems like it's about balance and progressing from base, animalistic drives to a sort of human divinity... i don't want to say "god" (especially after giving him/her such hell in the previous paragraph), but more of a higher enlightenment through acceptance, understanding, and a certain amount of wisdom. yeah, that was what i wanted from the hippie-dippy store! don't get me wrong, i'm far from enlightened, but it just seemed right for this part of my path. we'll see how long until it offers me something i'm not ready for, or am resistant to, but for now... i'm inspired to read more!

i went home and watched jeopardy to bide my time until dinner. jason, helskel, liz, brooke and brad were there. fine chicken, salad, taters and so forth were had by all, and they made sure i'd miss them when i'm gone.

then i went home and b informed me about j and the aneurism formerly known as big bertha... and the other two, whose names have yet to be shared with me. and i paced around my apartment and called friends and posted the second to last entry. bertha was taken care of in a sterile but profound way by dr. feelgood. the other two's days are numbered (the bastards!).

friday i packed some, returned my modem to comcast, and shipped some stuff. i also went through boxes of stuff that've moved with me unopened five or six times with documents from the mid-nineties (holy crap!). and finally sold my desk (coffee table is probably not going to be sold).

and today i delivered random furnitures that friends and family kindly took off my hands. and packed for the plane and threw away other stuff from boxes not looked at since two or three moves ago.

and now i'm at my mother's house. she's in ohio doing a family reunion thing that my move precluded me from. i wanted to go, but i wanted to stop waiting for life more. i also wanted to get to the northwest before the "rainy" season. anyway, at my mother's house blogging... because i'm alone and uncomfortable because the place reminds me of a museum (but my place reminds me of empty). and i talked to l for a second, but she was tired... and her ex is in the pokey for less time than previously thought...

and so things are less bad than they were. and i have got to stop starting sentences with "and".

i guess i'm less nervous, more excited, but still in a state of limbo. i'm going to miss my friends in denver, but the grass is greener on the other side (but i'm convinced it has more to do with the extra precipitation than anything else). tomorrow i get to finish up around my apartment. aj's gonna give me a ride to the airport on monday after we do lunch. i sure hope i get to be on the left side of the plane so i can take a picture of mount hood as we pass by.

helskel has a quote (not sure if it's original or taken from someone else, but):

"it happens; write before you die."

in times of anger i want to amend it bitterly, but tonight i want to amend it as a means of explanation (and, to a certain extent, understanding):

"it happens; live before you die."

our paths may diverge, but we're both living, we're both writing, and we're both dying...

i hope you are too.

peas