post #50

blogger claims this is my fiftieth post. my how the hits keep coming...

i wish i knew what i wanted. it would make getting it that much easier.

an interesting couple of days at work have left me drained and in need of written release. so here goes: no matter how good work is, it still sucks; i can always find better things to do with my time. but i've got a good gig going for the most part. sure, the job has its monotony, but it's got good people that i get along with. henry ford showed us that we work really efficiently with repetitious tasks, therefore it's nearly impossible to see a task through from start to finish. so as cogs in the machine go, i'm a pretty happy cog. decent pay, interesting co-workers, and tasks that are sometimes almost vaguely challenging (in a tedious sorta way).

i realized today, though, that i've been working too hard for my position, and in the process have been wasting some time while falling behind. apparently it was noticed, but taken as slowness--turns out i didn't know what was expected of me so i erred on the overworking side.

oh well.

i had a dream last night...

after the crisis and a portion of the resolution (more resolved as of this morning) i dreamed of myself in a basement brewing coffee. the coffee filter cup overflowed and i went to get a towel to clean it up but got distracted.

apparently from the dream defining sources (yes, plural), coffee denotes social stuff and i can't find the other aspects. overflow could be greatness, but the mess aspect... i don't know. can't seem to come to terms with it, but it's happened in real life, and i've actually had variations on this dream before. but i don't remember what was going on in my life when the variations happened. i... don't... know...

i'm tired. if i could get to work earlier i could have longer lunches, which would do wonders for my sanity. i don't need a siesta, but actual relaxation with lunch would be nice. plus, i have a couple books i'm working on. i could stand to read them.

happy fiftieth post everybody. here's to fifty more (in less time hopefully).

Snow Day!

All the fun of a snow day without the, you know, actual heavy accumulation.



Now if you'll excuse me, I have a snow midget to build...

post

hola amigos,
i know it's been awhile since i rapped at ya. but it's been crazy followed by nuts here at casa de mange...

i'm up past my bedtime, but that's due to some serious napping that happened tonight. not sure what that was about. i slept plenty last night, and had a late office opening due to "inclement weather." my neighborhood had a dusting of snow, but i suppose many people live at higher elevations where the snow and ice was more severe. anyway, i took advantage of one of the two hours because free time is cool, but i haven't been there long enough to be compensated with sick time or what not... and to be quite honest, i got bored. like i said to my co-workers who took full advantage of the two hours, "i don't have any pets or significant others to keep me entertained." and i would've gone in at my regular time had i not been call by my boss letting me know we had a 2-hour delay (which i believed but had to check for myself since my neighborhood looked like any other morning).

bush talked last night, but i didn't see it. i'm not sure exactly what time he did it, but i was either commuting home or walking up mount tabor when he spoke. i tried to read the transcript at work but the magic wasn't there. first, the media already leaked the big surprise--we're changing course in iraq from too many to too many more. and secondly, my eyes glazed over about halfway through. i like to be informed in my life, and especially when i criticize the chimp, but apparently i just don't care enough now. i still plan to watch the state of the union--perhaps that'll inspire more angst or scheudenfreude, but we'll just have to see i guess...

my coworker told me that the minimum wage increase was voted basically down party lines, which i tried to confirm with google, but teh internets seems to have made google less efficient. anyway, if anyone could give a link to the roll call on that that'd be cool. regardless, if the republican minority really did vote overwhelmingly against an increase in the minimum wage then i must thank them for distancing themselves further from american popular opinion. not that i'm a staunch democrat, or at all comforted by our "two-party" system, but lesser-of-two-evilism requires a lesser of the two evils.

well, that's it for now. i guess i'll read something or watch some crappy tv and hopefully go to sleep soon.

Vonnegut's elongated shadow cast by the winter sun

Excerpt from Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.'s introduction to God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian.

"OK, now let's have some fun. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about women. Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything.

What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish people wouldn't get so mad at them.

Why are so many people getting divorced today. It's because most of us don't have extended families anymore. It used to be that when a man and a woman got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell dumb jokes to.

A few Americans, but very few, still have extended families. The Navahoes. The Kennedys.

But most of us, if we get married nowadays, are just one more person for the other person. The groom gets one more pal, but it's a woman. The woman gets one more person to talk to about everything, but it's a man.

When a couple has an argument, they may think it's about money or power or sex, or how to raise the kids, or whatever. What they're really saying to each other, though, without realizing it, is this:

'You are not enough people.'"

it occurs to me that there are a lot of not-enough-peoples out there. i read the above lines at a pizza place where i shared a smile with an attractive woman who took her food to go, while i was halfway into eating in. at the same time, a guy from my office was eating alone at the same pizza place, someone i figured to have someone else to eat with. having a book to read, and not having said more than a few words to this coworker, i didn't impose myself upon his dinner. or maybe he was just busy not imposing himself on my alone-time, as if that's something i don't have an abundance of...

...

you know that feeling that what you're writing isn't going to see the light of day because back space is so conveniently located, and publish takes a deliberate act. yeah, it's something like that...

she's out there.